That far in disbelief you almost see clearly.

For the first time in.. I think ever, I left my makeup bag, full of makeup, at work. I am not one of those girls who hoard tons of old makeup at home [I’ve heard that wearing old makeup can actually kill you or make your eyelashes fall out or something], nor am I the type of girl who spends excesses of money on making sure she has an emergency stash of makeup at home. 

I am, however, the type of girl who actually requires makeup on her face to leave the house. And to go to work. Especially to go to work. And especially after only being at a new job for 4 days. On top of the fact that I’ve never really been told that I look good without makeup [except by Mr.NB and we all know he’s sleeping with me] although I wouldn’t want anyone to lie to me just so I can say someone’s told me that before. 

It just seems like every time I have to leave my house without makeup on, God punishes me by running me right into someone I used to date, someone fairly important (like an ex-boss or the Queen) or some exceptionally beautiful girl that gives my self-esteem a kick in the junk.  

And you wonder why I never talk about wanting to go camping. THAT’S why.

 I don’t do bugs, or weave-less, unwashed hair. I don’t do “au natural” and, at the risk of being ostracized, I actually really hate smores; 50% because I think marshmallows are disgusting and 50% because chocolate is pretty much in the same category as marshmallows.

Same with seaweed – I don’t care what anyone says, you can taste it in sushi – steamed carrots and those candies that supposedly taste like yogurt and fruit.

Luckily I’m 25 now, which means I can choose which ingredients go into my dinner, which outdoor activities I participate in and who I do and do not want in my life. I just wish LinkedIn made it as easy to remove people from your professional life as it is to remove them from the real thing.

Because I’ve been told that planning every single second of your life is completely undesirable, I decided to make an extremely impulsive decision to go to New York City. I take plenty of things lightly – buying yet another black tank top, ordering Red Room for dinner - but considering the extent of adult travel plans is the thoroughly researched trip I took to Las Vegas with my mom earlier this year, you can see that planning an entire trip in 8 days is not one on that list.

It’s kind of liberating. And I’ll admit that I’m excited that people are envious of me.

We’re not staying in an outlandishly lavish hotel and I bought running shoes to walk around in so my fabulousness will be limited to carrying my booties in my purse for really special moments, but I have never been more excited to get away from Toronto, away from the drama that has swallowed my social life and away from feeling so incredibly stuck.

Rut, rut, rut, rut, rut. 

It isn’t hard to see that my behaviour lately stems from feeling trapped. Even in university I barely remember hearing the birds waking up before I fell asleep and on more than 2 occasions in the past month, I debated grabbing a coffee a Tim Hortons and telling sleep to screw off. I’ve always been a fan of getting up early-ish on weekends and actually doing something with my day - even if it is just tanning on my roof.

I’ll blame the Reckless Celebrity birthday party I attended at the end of May as the event that pushed me over the edge. I walked home probably close to 3km which I Googled and discovered, in Toronto, would actually be a 33 minute DRIVE and is about 44 blocks. I’ll also blame the single JagerBomb I did that night, as well.

A couple weekends later, I threw myself an only semi-successful “I Got A New Job Party” and woke up the next day with a headache, a scratched up leg and a couple free tickets to GLEE Live. 

So I guess the moral of the story is, being in a bit of a rut, drinking your absolute face-off and going to bed in the morning could be done in a far less classy manner than I’ve been doing it. I just don’t want to get into any bad habits. Quater-life crisis or not. 

See you when I’m back from NYC! XXOO,