Sweet little lies.

I am absolutely sick of people’s attitudes. Attitudes towards race, sexual orientation, religious affiliation (or not), who one chooses to befriend, who one chooses to date even after one cheats on the other, what one chooses to post on Twitter, etc. etc. etc.

And, you know, people’s attitudes in general.

I grew up with small-town morals and the belief that not everyone was out to get me all the time. I’ve been told one too many times that I wear my heart on my sleeve and, like far too few of my friends, I put too much faith in people. As much as I constantly put myself in the defensive position in attempts not to get hurt, it still shocks my very core when people turn out to be the worst version of themselves at my expense.

I’m fully aware that some people think I have an attitude. 3 shifts into my first sales job at a grocery store in Stratford, I was called into my manager’s office and reamed out about my “attitude problem”. That may have had something to do with the fact I kissed one of my co-workers boyfriends [before they were dating - what do you take me for?], although these assumptions have gone unconfirmed.

I’ve unapologetically reamed out sales people and once told the mother of some child whose face I was painting that her blatant rudeness was a horrible influence on her child. I sometimes hit fellow and slow-walking TTCers with my jam-packed LuluLemon bag when they won’t get out of my way.

Sure, I’ve crossed lines but I know when to keep my feet far enough behind them so there’s no confusion.

My mother always taught me that if I didn’t have anything nice to say, to not say anything at all. In theory, it’s a good lesson. In actuality, I prefer to think of it like this: if you have a reason to have nothing nice to say, find something you actually have nice thoughts about and stop being such a fucking loser. Because eventually, you’ll become known to everyone as the person who shit-talks their way through life. And that’s no better than being the girl who cried wolf or damaged or orange.

I know soooooooo manyyyyyyy fake people; people who lie about their job, their lifestyle, their status. I’ve had awkward hugs in clothing stores because little actions like that are easier than admitting that you don’t like someone.

Or that they might not like you back.

The only positive I’ve decided to see in meeting Mr.NB’s ex-girlfriend was at least she had the guts to be unpleasant to my face. So she wins points for that, I guess.

As an only child, I definitely see the fun-ness in playing make believe, but eventually real life catches up and more often than not, you’re going to need reality to hold your hair back when you’re throwing up.

I just don’t know when I stopped feeling like people actually had my back. I know people are entitled to their own opinions and I don’t expect that I’m going to get along with everyone I meet, but I am truly bored of all the people who are too spineless to have their own opinions and stand behind them.

I guess it’s true what they say, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” That has to be what Facebook privacy settings were invented for.

Love you [at least to your face],
XOXOXOX pinkcrush